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‘Where can I find out more about your “Hotel Stories”, featuring the world’s most homicidal hotel manager, Ms N, and her beautiful but naive ally, Tatiana?’ someone asked me the other day.
‘Try my blog,’ I said.
‘Sure,’ she said. ‘But can you be more specific?’
I took a look and realised I had not written a post about my Seven Hotel Stories since May 2018.
Clicking on the image above will take you to Amazon
Apologies. I have been a bit busy since May 2018. I have found time to complete two all-new Hotel Stories, entitled Seven Ukrainian Girls and Total Control, but have not yet published them. This is partly because (more…)
So I thought I would give away, to everyone who finds their way here, a complete, free Hotel Story: The Two Rooms.
The Two Rooms is the first Hotel Story I wrote. Ms N, the world’s most brilliant, unpredictable and occasionally homicidal hotel manager and her beautiful but naive accomplice, Tatiana, have to deal with an avalanche of problems involving Mr Burke, an unspeakably obnoxious guest; a dodgy Prime Minister on a moral crusade; Ms Gentle, a provider of specialised services for men; a pack of cigar-smoking Russian ice-hockey fans; and a murderous Japanese sushi chef. The story contains a startling twist. Is it my favourite Hotel Story? Perhaps it is.
To receive a free PDF copy of The Two Rooms, please click on the cover below:
If you’d prefer to download a “Word” copy, click here:
If you like The Two Rooms, you may like to read the complete Seven Hotel Stories. But that’s another story. Six, in fact.
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I have so far published seven hotel stories, available on Amazon in the novel-length Seven Hotel Stories: The Complete Collection.
All the stories feature the world’s most brilliant, unpredictable and occasionally homicidal hotel manager, Ms N; her beautiful but naive ally, Tatiana; and Ms N’s unique methods of solving problems.
The first story, Britches, shows how Ms N and Tatiana first met; and how they sorted out the hotel owner from hell using a Combined Burns Night and St Patrick’s Day Ball (they exist – I have been to one); the President of China; and something Tatiana found under a handsome Scotsman’s kilt. You can read an excerpt from Britches here.
The second Hotel Story is The Two Rooms. It features an obnoxious guest; a hypocritical Prime Minister on a moral crusade; some Russian ice-hockey fans; an angry Japanese sushi chef; and a startling twist. Is it my favourite? Perhaps it is. You can read an excerpt from The Two Rooms on this site.
I recently published a new Hotel Story – the seventh in the series.
The Three Heads.
Like all the Hotel Stories, The Three Heads features the world’s most brilliant, unpredictable and occasionally homicidal hotel manager, Ms N, and her beautiful but naive ally, Tatiana. Like its predecessor, The Swedish Woman, The Three Heads presents Ms N with a crime which she must solve, reinforcing her credentials as the Sherlock Holmes to whom Tatiana, the narrator, plays Doctor Watson. I’d be delighted to hear your comments.
Because I am planning to publish shortly my novel Blood Summit, I have decided not to make The Three Heads a separate Amazon mini-book, but have added it to Hotel Stories – The Complete Collection. Seven Hotel Stories in one book. Most appropriate.
By way of a taster for The Three Heads, I hope you enjoy the following excerpt.
The Three Heads (excerpt)
‘Tatiana, my sugar plum. You are looking beautiful today.’
‘Thank you. But – ‘
‘I mean it, buttercup. I never forget how lucky I am to have you.’
‘Pablo. I am grateful.’ When I gaze into Pablo’s warm brown eyes and see his soft lips smiling at me, I find it hard to think straight. ‘But we need to talk about your plans to promote the hotel. Our Caravanserai Ultra Platinum is in trouble.’
‘Our hotel promotes itself, turtle-dove. It is the coolest, most luxurious and most ecological destination on earth, and the only hotel located entirely within a hollow mountain.’ He gestures around the Sunset Bar, with its outrageously exclusive (more…)
The following is an excerpt from the first of the “Hotel Stories” series, The Two Rooms. The Hotel Stories series takes a wry look at the sex, humour and power plays beneath the surface of modern hotel life. The series has been described by one reviewer as “Wonderful, feminist and dark. Not three words that often go together.”
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THE TWO ROOMS (Excerpt)
A short story by Robert Pimm
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‘I’m not moving. That’s final.’
Mr Burke is a tall, dark-haired man in a designer denim jacket with subtle stubble and a deep, melodious voice. He’s achingly good-looking and he knows it.
‘Unfortunately, you are booked to move out at 10 a.m. today. And all our rooms are full this evening.’
‘I want to speak to the General Manager.’ That lovely voice again. I wish he would use it to say something else.
‘Yes, sir. I am afraid the General Manager is not available right now. But If you would like to speak to the Hotel Manager I will be happy to arrange that.’ I smile my thousand-watt smile. ‘The Hotel Manager is our second-in-command.’
‘Whoever. But I’m not moving out of my room.’
‘I am calling the Hotel Manager now.’ I wish I could tell Mr Burke about the imminent arrival of the Prime Minister and the fact that even if Mr Burke were not being awkward the hotel would already be one room overbooked. But of course I cannot tell him any of this.
‘So… I don’t see this manager you promised.’
‘The Hotel Manager is coming now.’
‘Make it quick. I don’t pay five-star rates to wait for a receptionist.’
Mr Burke sticks his hands in his pockets and turns his back on me, leaning the elbows of the denim jacket on the counter and looking out at the lobby. It’s a fine lobby, with a thirty-metre water feature and a sushi bar with a Michelin star. But I know he’s turned his back to indicate his disgust with me and the service I am providing.