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‘Where can I find out more about your paperback “Seven Hotel Stories”, featuring the world’s most homicidal hotel manager, Ms N, and her beautiful but naive ally, Tatiana?’ someone asked me the other day.
‘Try my blog,’ I said.
‘Sure,’ she said. ‘But can you be more specific?’
I took a look and realised I had not written a post about my Seven Hotel Stories since May 2018.
Clicking on the image above will take you to Amazon
Apologies. I have been a bit busy since May 2018. I have found time to complete two all-new Hotel Stories, entitled Seven Ukrainian Girls and Total Control, but have not yet published them. This is partly because (more…)
A short story by Robert Pimm
The first person I see enter the lobby is loaded with shopping bags from a major international clothing brand.
I will not name the brand because I do not like to promote these kind of clothes. But it is a brand like a masculine man’s name. So I am guessing that the man carrying the bags is hoping that wearing these clothes will make him more of a man than he is perhaps feeling inside.
‘Mr Anderson. Welcome to our hotel.’ I smile my thousand-watt smile. ‘Good choice.’
‘Hey. Tatiana. You’re using the script’ The man slides his passport across the counter and peers at my name badge. ‘Are you Russian?’
I maintain my thousand-watt smile and pick up the telephone, which our brand standards say must be answered within three rings. A Mr Miller in Suite 1295 says he wishes to complain that his shower is not working. I promise that Housekeeping will come shortly. Across the lobby I see a group of men whose uniform of dark trousers and blue smart-but-casual shirts, and the noises they are making, remind me of a party of schoolchildren. They are heading for our signature EcoSystem Lounge Bar.
The man with the shopping bags is right that our hotel chain’s core script for reception staff includes the words Welcome to our hotel and Good choice. But the guidance notes which accompany the script also tell us that The customer is a human being and that we should use originality, humour, respect and the personal touch in our exchanges. So I add: ‘No, sir, I am Ukrainian. You know. We leave the West behind.’
This is actually not the first time I am using this joke. (more…)