I am standing in the lobby of a breathtaking luxury hotel.
My friends, all top hotel professionals, crowd round me.
‘We’ve heard about your Hotel Stories,’ says one. ‘They sound fabulous – a little bit spicy, a little bit mysterious, loads of strong women. Are they based on real life?’
‘Absolutely not,’ I say to the group of hotel managers and luxury travel experts. ‘The stories spring fully-formed from my imagination. But enough about me. Has anything weird or stimulating happened in any of your properties recently?’
‘Weird or stimulating barely suffices to describe what happened at my hotel in London last week,’ says the general manager of a legendary five-star property. ‘Let me tell you about it…’
So what is in the Hotel Stories; and why should you read them?
All seven Hotel Stories star the world’s most brilliant hotel manager, Ms N (she is too modest to wish to be named here). She has strict methods of dealing with badly-behaved hotel guests. The stories are narrated by Ms N’s beautiful but naive colleague, Tatiana.
The first reason you should read the Hotel Stories is Britches, which records how Ms N and Tatiana first met. They form a team, as Tatiana helps Ms N sorts out the hotel owner from hell using the President of China; a whisky-tasting; and something Tatiana finds under a handsome Scotsman’s kilt. (Links in bold italics are to other posts on this site.)
The second reason you should read the Hotel Stories is The Two Rooms. Read about Mr Burke, an unspeakably obnoxious guest; a Prime Minister on a moral crusade; a high-class call-girl; some cigar-smoking Russian ice-hockey fans; an angry Japanese sushi chef; and a startling twist. Is it my favourite? Perhaps it is.
The third reason is The Swedish Woman. In an elevator awash with blood, a man lies dead. The suspects are many, including the mysterious Swedish woman, who checked in a few hours earlier. Only Ms N can identify the murderer.
The fourth reason is The White Blouse. Somewhere in the Former Soviet Union is a hotel with some ugly problems including bribery; corruption; and a guest with unpleasant proclivities. The White Blouse contains scenes which are not for the squeamish. Actually, all of the Hotel Stories are intended for adult readers.
The fifth reason is Gents, set in sunny Florida. It involves a dodgy night-club; alligators; and an ambitious male colleague who does not respect Ms N. This is a bad move on his part.
The sixth reason is Ask for Scarlett, which takes Ms N and Tatiana to the Caravanserai Ultra Platinum – “the coolest and most ecological as well as the most luxurious hotel on earth”. You will find why Tatiana says “every paradise contains a serpent”; and how Ms N solves a problem no-one else can even identify.
The seventh reason is The Three Heads. Can the coolest pop star on earth, with her three famous heads, save Tatiana’s hotel, the Caravanserai Ultra-Platinum? Is there really a flea infestation? Only Ms N knows the answer.
How to read the Hotel Stories:
- You can read excerpts of each story at the links above;
- You can buy Hotel Stories: The Complete Collection at Amazon.com, Amazon.co.uk and other reputable Amazon outlets;
- If you fancy trying a single story, you can read The Two Rooms by way of an introduction.
- If you don’t want to pay for a story, contact me via the form below and I’ll send you a Word copy of one of the stories. We try to please!
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